


Down and Dirty Dentistry

by INMH



Series: hc_bingo fanfiction fills 2019 [14]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Blood and Injury, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon, Strong Language, Stupidity, Toothache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-23 18:57:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19707439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: Pre-Game. Kim meets Hurk for the first time, and gets a good look at his unique way of dealing with problems, medical and dental both.





	Down and Dirty Dentistry

“Hurk Drubman! The fuck are you doing?!”  
  
“Oh hey, howdy Nicholas! That pretty lady on your arm Kim? Nice to meet ya, Kim! Hercules Drubman Jr., glad to meet you!”  
  
Kim blinked.  
  
Nick slapped a hand over his eyes.  
  
“Uh… Nice to meet you too! What, uh… What are you doing up there?”  
  
Hurk was, after all, standing on the roof of his house. And there was something coming out of his mouth- a string? It was too fine for Kim to tell where it led or what it was tied to (if anything), but if it was in Hurk’s mouth she had to figure it was tied to one of his teeth.  
  
“Oh yeah, this! Yeah, well, one of my teeth started hurting real bad recently, and I went to the dentist and they told me that I had to have a tooth pulled! It got knocked loose a few years back and I guess it kinda messed up the inner-workings of the tooth itself and so basically it’s gone all rotten and infected. But I figured, hey! Why have the dentist yank the tooth when I can do it myself? I can handle a little pinching and pulling, and I don’t have to pay no money for it! And hey, I’ve always wanted to do one ‘a them ‘Leap of Faith’ things from those assassin games!”  
  
Kim’s mouth fell open. “Is-” She turned to Nick and lowered her voice. “Oh my God, Nick, is he serious? Is he going to- Should we _do_ something?”  
  
“We should walk away, is what we should do,” Nick responded, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Hurk’s a real nice dude, not often you see him frowning, but if stupidity functioned as a fuel we could power half the country on his.”  
  
“We can’t just leave! He could break his neck!”  
  
“Honestly, Kim, it’s a miracle he hasn’t killed himself already. This is actually one of the tamer things he’s done to date.”  
  
“Alright, y’all are gonna want to stand back! If I miss the target I don’t wanna crush either of ya!”  
  
The ‘target’ was a pile of hay that had been lumped up directly below Hurk’s jumping-spot. Kim spotted what seemed to be a mattress underneath it.  
  
_Oh my God._  
  
“Here we go! One!”  
  
“Oh, Hurk, hold on, don’t do that!”  
  
“Two!”  
  
“Hurk, for fuck’s sake!”  
  
“ _Three!_ ”  
  
Hurk jumped, and Kim let out a little scream as he fell.  
  
Well, Hurk _did_ hit the hay and mattress, so that was good. But when his head popped out of the haystack, he was frowning. “Awwww man, that didn’t help at all! My tooth didn’t come out! The string just snapped and now it hurts way worse than it did before. Dang it all!”  
  
“ _No shit, stupid!_ ” Nick barked.  
  
Hurk stepped out of the hay pile, one hand pressed against his cheek. “Dang it, that was supposed to work and I wasn’t supposed to have to deal with no dentists! I don’t even like dentists, man!”  
  
Kim stepped forward, shaking her head as she looked Hurk up and down. “Okay, well, I think you _need_ to see one now. You could’ve messed something up real bad in your mouth.”  
  
“Aw hell.”  
  
“Come on, Hurk,” Nick sighed, “We’ll drive you.”  
  
“Well thank you, Nicholas, that’s real nice of-”  
  
“You should probably not talk. You know, because of the tooth?”  
  
“Good idea, good idea.” Hurk hobbled over to the car.  
  
Nick’s eyes rolled shut. He reached out and patted Kim on the back. “Welcome to Hope County, Kim.”  
  
“It’s turning into a real ride.”  
  
“You’ve got no idea.”  
  
-End


End file.
